Development notes




Using the feedback notes from Jane I tried changing the script whilst interpreting her suggestions. however, it was quite difficult as I was not quite sure on how to fit some of the things into the script so the only thing I changed was the conversation between Russel and his mum in page 2.  I have also gone over the script a few times to fix all of the spelling mistakes and bits that did not make sense.


Final draft 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1leFSnwC4uJ1aY80MGRR6b6AQZN7Pkoge/view?ths=true




Script Feedback from 
Jane Marlow

The following were Jane's notes and should suppliment or confirm the discussion you had in your tutorial. Feedback can be used to stimulate reflection on the process of dramatic writing and reveal your development journey in your blog (see item 6 on page 9 of your brief).

A Real Friend, Dovydas Linkus

This is an intense script; Matthew’s pain is really developed and pulls the audience in really well. His powerful emotion is very well portrayed and the end is very moving. In draft two, I think it’s a question of going through and thinking about every scene and set up, making it as streamline as possible, squeezing everything out of each setting. For example, maybe think about using the mother character instead of an interior voice on p3 to show that Matthew didn’t get the guy’s number. It might not be something we find out in the script, but as a writer do you know why Matthew is so troubled - does he feel isolated or is there something more to this? That will inform the school scenes and make them even richer.



First draft

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PP-OAKc_2kpDwZshuwGngwLg5-YXjBsQ/view?ths=true

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